Forgiving. It is definitely one of those things that is easier said than done at times. It is difficult to fathom forgiving someone whose actions cut deeper than they even have the capacity to comprehend. I recognized that the way I deal with past hurts was unhealthy and toxic at the Recreate conference last year. One thing that really stuck out to me last year was that in an attempt to protect myself from ever feeling hurt again I put up what I THOUGHT were boundaries. When in actuality, they were walls. Walls that boxed me in. Suffocated me. In that box my thoughts ran wild, my heart became bitter, and the hurt never went away. It’s crazy that sometimes what we think will heal us, is the exact thing that brings us to our knees. I thought isolating myself would keep me from getting hurt but what happened was that the more isolated myself, the more I my thoughts told me that no one cared. That I was unloved. That people were going to hurt me regardless of my actions. That turned into me justifying my bitterness, and gave reason to walls in my life.

We think that forgiveness is for the other party. Forgiveness is actually a two way street but more so for you than anyone else. It allows you to be set free from the hurt. Forgiveness is like alcohol to a wound. It stings our pride. But ultimately cleanses our soul. After forgiveness has been granted, it may feel as if you allowed them to use you. Or if you are like me, you think that you have allowed them to run over you because you did not retaliate in way that would hurt them just as bad as they hurt you. But I realized that sting that I feel when I forgive is just my pride being served a reality check. Me thinking that what has happened should have never happened. To me. When we think about being set aside for divine things, being called and destine to do great things, we forget about the trails that come to make us those incredible individuals. Jesus would not be our Savior if not for His crucifixion.

I’ve learned that forgiveness does not come in the form of a Chick Fila employee. Quickly. Kindly. And asking if there is anything else they can get for you. Forgiveness takes time. You have to prepare your heart and mind. You have to recognize what you are forgiving. You then have to reset the boundaries and examine the relationship. Forgiveness is like being a caterer for a wedding. You go through several alternations before you arrive at the finished product. However, I caution you not to linger in the process. Figure out what you need and tackle it. Go through the process. Grow through the process. Flip the script and recognize that the hurt is the fertilizer that you needed to grow. Use it for you and not against you. Forgive and cleanse your soul. Find your freedom in forgiveness. 

Ephesians 4:31 – 32

 Get rid of all bitterness, rage and anger, brawling and slander, along with every form of malice. 

32 Be kind and compassionate to one another, forgiving each other, just as in Christ God forgave you.

Signing off 

~Authentically Angie